30 Natural Libido Boosters to Help You Have Better Sex
Updated: Mar. 17, 2021
Little ways to have more fun in bed in tonight.
Get busy tonight
Having intercourse regularly helps to keep your sex drive in high gear by increasing the production of testosterone, which is the hormone mainly responsible for libido in both men and women.
Quit smoking
If you smoke, ask your doctor to prescribe you the nicotine patch. Why? Because it’s scientifically proven that smoking can clog the blood vessels in the penis in the same way it clogs the arteries in your heart. Ever heard a better reason to quit smoking?
Consider your meds
Write a list of all the medicine you’re taking, then check for party poopers. More than 200 medications can cause erection problems and diminished sex drive, including drugs used to treat high blood pressure, heart disease, depression, and stomach problems. Ask your pharmacist or doctor if any of the drugs on your list could be culprits. Of course, you can’t stop taking a drug you need, but you can talk to your doctor about possibly changing the brand, dose, or timing of your medication.
Plan a getaway
Spend tonight planning a steamy vacation. Even if you don’t go (or can’t go due to Covid), spending time together picturing where you’d go, looking at photos online, and imagining yourself in some tropical paradise will be enough of a libido booster to get you to bed early. Plus, it’s a lot more stimulating to talk about than why your teenager is failing geometry.
(Related: 5 Factors Linked to Successful Relationships, According to Science)
Practise Kegel exercises
You know what Kegels are-they’re the squeezing exercises your doctor told you to do after pregnancy or because you were experiencing incontinence. What your doc probably didn’t tell you is that they’re also great for strengthening the pubococcygeus muscle, which is essential for orgasm. To do Kegels, take note of the muscle you use to stop urinary flow, then practice contracting that muscle, gradually releasing it. Work up to 20 contractions three times a day.
Cook up a pasta dinner
Make pesto and serve it over pasta tonight. Pesto contains pine nuts, great sources of arginine, the precursor for nitric oxide, a main ingredient in drugs like Viagra. Arginine helps open blood vessels so blood flow improves.
Act like teenagers
Go to the movies (or drive-in—depending on what’s open during the pandemic in your region) with your partner, sit in the back row, and make out like you used to when you were a teenager. You’ll be combining the forbidden with the frustrating-a sure bet to get your juices flowing.
(Related: Better Sex and More Intimacy: 8 Habits of Connected Couples)
Touch your partner
Every time you pass your partner, reach out and touch or kiss them. Don’t allow these moments to go beyond the kiss or hug. Simply increasing the amount of physical contact you have with your partner will help with desire. Also, try these little secrets for a more intimate and happier marriage.
Fill up on these foods
Sprinkle 1 tablespoon wheat germ on every cup of yogurt and every bowl of cereal you eat. Wheat germ’s rich in zinc, which is important to the production of that all-important hormone, testosterone. You can also get your fill of zinc in beef, eggs, and seafood-especially oysters. Consider noshing on these aphrodisiac foods to spark romance.
Pretend to be a new couple
When you’re at a party or out in public, take a moment to stare at your partner across the room as if you were still wooing one another. Sex falls out of a relationship when you take one another’s presence for granted. So don’t.
(Related: Do Pheromone Perfumes Actually Work?)
Host a steamy movie night
Cue up an erotic video and watch it with your partner. Use the time to talk about what you like and don’t like during sex (and before and after).
Think “Fifty Shades”
Read a sexy “bodice ripper” out loud to your partner. Play-act the parts of the ravishing heroine and her handsome, yet dangerous lover.
(Related: 6 Common Myths About Sex After 50 You Need to Stop Believing)
Keep your eyes open
Open your eyes when you kiss and when you are intimate. Looking into your partner’s eyes during such times sends an incredible message of trust and honesty.
(Related: 6 Reasons Your Partner May Seem Less Interested in Having Sex)
Say what’s on your mind
Say exactly what’s on your mind—sexually, that is. If you’re watching your husband pull out the tree stump in the backyard and you get a certain weakness in your legs watching the sweat roll off his back, tell him. If the sight of your wife comforting your teenage son after his first-ever girlfriend dumped him makes you glad all over again that you married her, tell her. Simply expressing how everyday things make you feel deepens your intimacy when said out loud.
(Related: Covid Couples Therapy: Expert Tips on How to Talk About the Tough Stuff)
Pretend you’ve just met
Remember that weak in the knees, shivers-up-your-back feeling you used to get when you first met? You can have that again. Call her and ask her out on a date. Dress up for lunch with him. Buy new underwear.
Create your own intimate rituals
No, we’re not talking about sex. But what about waking him up with a steaming cup of coffee instead of the alarm every morning? What about having a hot bath ready for her in the evening? How about a special dinner out every Tuesday-when most couples are zoned out in front of the TV? Or massaging her feet while you watch Netflix with a big bowl of popcorn? The key is consistency. These are not things you do just once, but over and over again until they become like a secret language between the two of you.
Get a massage
Though it might be difficult to do so right now, because of the ongoing pandemic, going for a massage, pedicure, facial, or whatever makes you feel better about yourself. If you take care of your own body, you’re much more likely to be able to enjoy it. Another good way to take care of yourself is exercise. A side benefit for everyone: better blood flow to crucial organs.
(Related: Why Covid-19 Is Killing Your Sex Drive)
Find new things to talk about
Turn the timer on for 15 minutes and talk to your partner about anything other than kids, money problems, or work annoyances. Tell them about the dream you had last night. The cute teenager you saw at the diner who reminded you of yourself when you were in high school. The great presentation you made today and how it made you feel. When the timer goes off, it’s your partner’s turn.
Take a solo trip
Go away for a couple of days—by yourself (quarantine permitting). While you’re away, make a list of all the things you love and like about your partner. Close your eyes and picture yourself making love. Call them and have an erotic phone conversation. By the time you get home, you’ll be so greedy for each other that the front hall will look like a king-size mattress. (Here’s how couples can stay close when they’re apart.)
Do it in a different room
Send the kids away and stay home together. Make love in a different part of the house. It can be as steamy as in your bathtub or as romantic as on a blanket in front of your fireplace.
(Related: Are long-distance relationships better?)
Write down your worries
Before you go to bed, take a few minutes to write out a to-do list and a list of your worries. This gets rid of the worries that can often interfere with your ability to relax and become aroused.
Remove the pressure to get right to it
Spend an hour with your partner touching every part of their body—but you can’t use your hands. Use other parts of your body (including your imagination) instead. Conversely, caress one another only with your hands touching every part of the body except the genital zones. This can remove any pressure you might feel to “get right to it” after a hectic day on the job and is a wonderful way, at least for the woman, to relax and escape from the daily grind and transition from her other (oh-so-non-sexual) roles.
Eat a dozen oysters
After all, Casanova is said to have had 50 oysters every morning off the breast of a young woman in the bathtub-so they have to be good for something. Actually, as you read a few tips ago, oysters are loaded with zinc, critical for production of testosterone, the sex hormone in both men and women.
(Related: The End of Monogamy? Real Couples with Open Relationships)
Stop at one (or two) drinks at the most
A small amount of alcohol can set the mood; more can drown the flame of desire, or lessen your ability to see your desire through.
Buy some lingerie
Go purchase at least one item of sexy lingerie. The feel of soft silk against your skin will help wake up those sensuality nerve endings. And who knows what will happen when that happens?
(Related: 14 Ways to Enjoy Better Sex as You Age)
Re-create your favourite sexy scene in a movie
You know the ones. The lobster scene in Flashdance. The ice scene in 9 1/2 Weeks. Mena Suvari’s cheerleading routine in American Beauty, Clark Gable carrying Vivien Leigh up the stairs in Gone With the Wind, the pottery scene in Ghost, the part in The Bridges of Madison County when Meryl Streep and Clint Eastwood dance in her kitchen.
(Related: 20 Breakup Movies That’ll Help You Get Over That Relationship)
Create a romance playlist
Have it playing when your partner returns home. Light a few scented candles while you’re at it. Who knows what might ensue?
(Related: The Secret to Happiness? Concentrate on Your Relationships)
Say, “I love you”
Tell your partner two things you love about them every day. Love, affection, and mutual respect are the bases for a steamy sex life.
Sext your partner
Tell them, over the phone, in no uncertain terms what you would like to do when you get home.
Get physical
Do something physical together, like skiing, a long country walk, a stroll along a beach, or canoeing. Such activities let you see one another in a different light, creating a sense of physical vitality that readily translates into intimacy.
Next: ‘It’s Just One Thing After Another’: Can Our Relationships Survive Covid-19?
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