Whether you’re new to vibrators or are curious about new tech, here are six great models available in Canada that can help add some spice to pandemic life.

(Related: Top 10 Sexiest Cities in Canada, Based on Sex Toy Sales)

1. I need fresh tech

Most of your clitoris is actually internal — that wee nub you see is only the beginning. In the past few years, there’s been an explosion (she said explosion) of options in a newer category of sex toy that uses pulsing airwaves instead of direct vibrations to stimulate your entire clit.

Melt by We-Vibe, $159, we-vibe.com

2. Little help here? I’m new

A bullet-style mini vibe can be the least intimidating way to start exploring sex toys (and it’s also a handy tool to have in your goodie drawer if you get into other toys that are designed to be powered by a bullet). This baby is rechargeable and has 20 different vibration patterns.

Screaming O Charged Vooom Bullet, $40, screamingo.com

3. I like a classic

This chic standard vibrator can be used internally or externally and has an easy single-button control, which makes it great for beginners. Extra points for being a Canadian brand!

Aurora by Bellesa, $99, bboutique.co

(Related: 7 Best Self-Love Items from Nordstrom’s Online Pop-Up Shop)

4. Supersize me

Old-school wand vibrators can feel ridiculous at first because they’re just so large, but there’s a reason they’ve been around for so long. Their long reach means they’re especially handy (she said handy) for people with mobility issues and for partner play, and their powerful rumble means you can actually use them for massaging muscles elsewhere too.

Lelo Smart Wand Medium, $209, lelo.com

5. I’m ready to level up

A rabbit-style vibe is the ideal two-in-one toy. One “ear” is used for clitoral stimulation, while the other goes to work on your G spot internally. This model is super bendy, so the external ear never loses contact with your clitoris.

We-Vibe Nova 2, $159, we-vibe.com

New and Noteworthy

This hot newcomer to the vibrator scene offers 10 intensity levels and is raking in five-star reviews. One user said it’s made them feel like a “teenager again,” while another called it “MAGIC.”

Womanizer Classic 2 Rechargeable Clitoral Suction Stimulator, $150, lovehoney.ca

Next: Can Cannabis Help Kick-Start My Sex Drive?

Here’s a healthy twist on the classic old-fashioned apple crisp, served with honey berry compote and Greek yogurt (a more nutritious substitute for ice cream).

The recipe calls for oats, which are dense with nutrients, high in vitamins and minerals and contain powerful antioxidants, as well as Kamut, which is an ancient grain high in fibre, magnesium, zinc and antioxidant minerals.

Ancient Grain Apple Crisp with Berry Compote with Greek Yogurt

Prep Time: 15 minutes
Bake Time: 45 minutes
Total Time: 1 hour

Filling

Ingredients:

• 6 cups apples peeled, cored and sliced.
• ½ cup brown sugar lightly packed
• 1 tsp cinnamon (to taste)
• Juice from ½ of a lemon
• Pinch of salt

Instructions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees Farenhight
2. In a mixing bowl, add sliced apples, brown sugar, cinnamon, salt and lemon juice. Stir to combine and then transfer to a greased baking dish.

Topping

Ingredients

• 1 cup oats
• ½ cup Kamut flakes (can substitute oats)
• 1/3 cup flour
• 1/2 cup brown sugar lightly packed
• 1/2 cup butter
• 1 tsp cinnamon
• ¼ tsp salt

Instructions

1. In a separate bowl add oats, Kamut, flour, brown sugar cinnamon and salt. Mix together.
2. Melt butter in a saucepan over medium-high heat until it browns and pour in mixture. Stir until well coated and crumbly.
3. Lightly cover the apples with the crumble mixture, but do not overpack.
4. Bake for 45-60 minutes until golden brown. Allow to cool slightly.

Berry Compote

Ingredients

• 1 cup fresh strawberries and blueberries, sliced
• Juice from ½ lemon, plus zest
• 1 tbsp honey

Instructions

1. Add sliced strawberries and blueberries to a bowl. Stir in lemon juice, zest and honey with the fruits.

Serve apple crisp with berry compote and Greek yogurt.

Wall of Bakers premieres on Monday, March 28th at 10 p.m. ET/PT.

My kids love this dairy-free mac and cheese, and honestly, so do I, especially with a big drizzle of Valentina hot sauce. (We affectionately refer to it as “mac and cheesy with broccoleesy.”) Generally, it’s not a good idea to put potatoes in a blender because it pulverizes the starch molecules and they can become gooey. However, in this case, that’s exactly what we’re going for to replicate the gooey, stretchy texture of melted cheese. No need to chop the garlic in this one because it’s all going in the blender; the onion can be only coarsely chopped, for the same reason. It’s small mercies like these that make some recipes feel so much more doable, isn’t it?

Mac and Cheesy with Broccoli

Serves 4 to 6

Ingredients

• 1 lb (454 g) short pasta (we like elbows or shells)
• 1 head broccoli, chopped
• 1 medium russet potato, peeled and chopped into ¾-inch (2 cm) cubes
• 1 large carrot, scrubbed and chopped into ¾-inch (2 cm) rounds
• ½ cup (125 mL) chopped onion
• 3 cloves garlic, peeled
• ⅓ cup (80 mL) cashews
• 1½ cups (375 mL) water
• 2 Tbsp (30 mL) extra virgin olive oil
• 2 tsp (10 mL) white or rice vinegar
• 1 tsp (5 mL) salt

Instructions

1. Bring a pot of water to a boil and cook the pasta according to the package directions. In the last 5 minutes of cooking, add the broccoli. Drain and return to the pot.
2. Meanwhile, make the sauce by putting the potatoes, carrot, onion, garlic, cashews, and water in a medium saucepan. Bring to a boil and simmer, covered, for 12 minutes, or until the veggies are very soft. Pour the cooked vegetables, including the cooking water, into a blender along with the oil, vinegar, and salt. Blend until very smooth.
3. Pour the sauce over the pasta and broccoli, and combine well.
4. Refrigerate any leftovers in an airtight container for up to 3 days. Reheat in a saucepan over medium heat with 1 to 2 Tbsp (15 to 30 mL) water to smooth out the sauce.

Variation with peas: Instead of using broccoli, add 1 cup (250 mL) frozen peas to the pasta in the last 5 minutes of cooking.

Excerpted from The Vegan Family Cookbook, by Anna Pippus. Copyright © 2021, Anna Pippus. Photography © 2021, Anna Pippus. Published by Appetite by Random House®, a division of Penguin Random House Canada Limited. Reproduced by arrangement with the Publisher. All rights reserved.

Now that you know how to make vegan mac and cheese, learn how to make vegan sloppy joe.

“There are loads of reasons to take a probiotic supplement,” says microbiology expert and probiotic educator Dr. Jessica ter Haar. Probiotics can regulate the bacteria in your gut, helping to treat and prevent certain conditions like constipation, irritable bowel syndrome and diarrhea, to name a few.

“Every healthy person should be taking some source of beneficial bacteria,” says ter Haar. If you’re not consuming a probiotic-rich food every day—and even if you are—ter Haar says a supplement is a good way to maintain microbe diversity. “We’re supposed to be surrounded by microbes,” she says, “but with the pandemic, we’re inside a lot more than before, so our microbial exposure is limited.” Isolating from other people, animals and nature means we aren’t encountering the usual array. Good microbes support our digestive system, immune system, hormone production and even mental health, says ter Haar, and probiotics can supply the bacteria we’re used to getting (and need) from the outside world.

Here, ter Haar shares five things to know about probiotic supplements.

(Related: What Experts Think of 6 Buzzy Gut Health Trends)

They can help you eat the foods you want

Probiotics can help treat an array of digestive health issues, relieving pain and discomfort. Ter Haar gives the example of how probiotics work for people with lactose intolerance: taking a supplement when consuming a dairy product can help the body digest lactose, warding off cramps, bloating and other pain that can occur with dairy consumption.

They can help reduce the side effects of antibiotics

“An antibiotic is like an atomic bomb—it just wipes out everything in the gut,” says ter Haar. This can result in bad microbes growing and taking over, leading to what we know as antibiotic side effects, like diarrhea. Ter Haar says this can be prevented by taking probiotics before, during and after antibiotic use, as they can help the body recognize and stimulate good bacteria and encourage it to grow.

A prebiotic may better address your concerns

A probiotic is a live microbe, and a prebiotic is a physical compound that’s not alive. According to ter Haar, they “both have their place.” She says prebiotics, like inulin from garlic, beta-glucans from oats or a supplement, can help with specific conditions such as digestive discomfort by, for example, bulking up stool.

They’re safe

There are no safety issues with probiotics unless you are immunocompromised or allergic to an ingredient that may be in a supplement, says ter Haar. In Canada, probiotics are regulated under the Natural and Non-Prescription Health Product Directorate, so they have to meet specific regulations even to get on store shelves. You can ask your doctor to recommend the best strain for you.

They work—as long as you get the right one

Different probiotic strains treat different concerns, so it’s imperative to take a probiotic supplement that addresses your specific issue, says ter Haar. For example, only some probiotics are naturally resistant to antibiotics. She also recommends selecting a high-quality probiotic, and one that includes its full name (such as “lactobacillus acidophilus 123”), shares how many live microbes it contains and has an expiration date.

Next: Digestive Disorders Affect More Women Than Men. So Why Is It So Hard To Get a Diagnosis?

What does a Canadian’s sex life actually look like? “Nothing like you’d expect,” says Shan Boodram (known as Shan Boody by her fans), host of the new CBC show The Big Sex Talk.

And she would know: Boodram’s a sex expert and dating coach, dishing out necessary intel and advice through a best-selling book, highly rated podcast and fan-favourite Youtube channel (just ask any of her nearly 700k subscribers). She’s also hosted three sex and dating shows, with her latest creating a fresh dialogue about what Canadian sexuality is really like today. In a word? “Diverse,” Boodram says.

The Big Sex Talk covers hot topics discussed by a range of speakers who open up about their personal experiences and preferences. “It’s what I love about the series,” she says. “Canadians sharing their struggles, their vulnerabilities—that’s going to give you more of an understanding about sex than any expert or textbook ever could.”

Each of the show’s six episodes delves into the kinds of topics you’ve probably discussed with friends in a group chat or maybe, opened up an incognito window and ran through a Google search. For example: Why do we act like monogamy makes sense for everyone? How does tech—from dating apps to VR porn—impact our sex lives? Is there a “sexpiration” date, or is it possible to still be in the mood at age 90?

One recurring theme is our lack of sexual desire. In an episode called “Not Having It,” Boodram says that North Americans today are having sex half as often as the last generation—and this includes people under 30, too.

What happened to our friskiness? Where did all the lust go? And should we be concerned? We hopped on a call with Boodram to get her thoughts.

The episode “Not Having It” includes a range of people who aren’t having sex for various reasons. Why do you think we aren’t having as much sex as we used to?

Technology has drastically changed the way we interact, and in many cases, it has decreased our motivation to have in-person connections, whether that’s sex or just going out for coffee with a friend. Add a pandemic, and there’s even less incentive for us to actually have these in-person moments and connections.

That’s one side. The other side is maybe the decrease in sexual desire isn’t a bad thing. Now we have more people who are not succumbing to coercion because they understand the power of consent, and they understand the right to advocate for their body. And more people are saying no to the kind of sex we traditionally define as sex. They’re finding other ways to experience pleasure on their own terms. There are some communities, like under the asexual umbrella, which is looked at in this episode, in which no sex is an expression of their sexuality.

Right! We saw two women who identified themselves as “prudes,” and challenged the stigma around choosing to be celibate—but that may not be easy for some people to do. What advice do you have for someone who may feel unsure how to handle being asexual or having a low sex drive, and have difficulty navigating the dating world?

If you don’t feel confident, if you feel unsure, if you have questions, seek out a community, seek out the experts, seek out the workshops that can help. The amazing thing the pandemic has done is create this self-education boom with workshops and classes you can sign up for. Invest your time in people who have figured it out—whether that be having a sex-free relationship or boosting a low sex drive—learn from them and then see how those teachings can apply to your life.

Where do you think our need for in-person connection has gone?

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer for something so diverse—and it could actually be more harmful to try to give just one answer. For example, we’ve seen a rise in the usage of antidepressants, which could be a positive thing, because more people are seeking out help, but maybe that’s also an indicator of how our lack of touch and connection has affected our mental health. However, to say lack of touch is leading to higher rates of depression is only telling a part of the story. Everyone needs to analyze their own behaviour and ask, Is there a relationship between how little human interaction I have and how sad I am feeling? Or maybe: Is there a relationship between not having as much human contact and feeling more safe and more empowered?

Have you noticed a lack of dating as well? Could that be the reason we’re having less sex?

I’m also Bumble’s sex and relationship advisor, so I have the benefit of having access to their stats, and the trend coming out of a pandemic is “intentionality”: people being specific about what they’re looking for. There’s something called being “consciously single,” which is the idea that someone isn’t single by default, because they can’t find anybody, but because this is what wellness looks like for them. There are also people who are prioritizing different types of connections, such as business ones.

The pandemic has had a huge impact on people’s dating life. A study of the past two years showed 25 percent of women haven’t had one sexual partner, which obviously speaks to the fact that we’ve been encouraged to stay away from each other. But as things start to open back up, I think the new normal will be more intentionality.

What about the people who want to want more sex—do you have any tips for reigniting their sex drive?

First, assess if your low sex drive is frustrating you or not. Some people feel we’re supposed to hit this number, like having sex a certain amount of times per week, in order to be sexual beings, but it’s also okay if you’re just in a space where that’s not important to you.

If it is frustrating you and negatively impacting your sex life, nothing can replace having a conversation with the people you’re sexual with or want to be sexual with. Often their thoughts about why you have less sex are different from what your reality is, and that can take pressure off.

Also, understand that after we get through that honeymoon phase in a relationship, you have to be more intentional about getting into that space where sex or connection is possible. Know your turn-on triggers and love language, and understand not everybody is going to get there the exact same way—and be curious about your partners’ turn-ons, so you can be on the same page.

This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.

The Big Sex Talk is streaming on the free CBC Gem streaming service.

Next: You Know Your Love Language—How About Your Sex Language?

You spend up to 80 percent of your waking hours on your feet, and each day your feet absorb over 2,265,000 kilograms of accumulated pressure. So it’s no wonder that, from time to time, your feet end up in a world of hurt. Virtually anything can cause foot pain, including shoes that don’t fit, diseases like arthritis and diabetes, and poor circulation. Here’s what you can do for sore feet.

1. Boost Circulation

For a refreshing and stimulating treat for the feet, fill one basin with cold water and another with water as hot as you can comfortably stand. Sit in a comfortable chair, and place your feet in the cold water. After 5 minutes, switch to the hot water. Repeat. This “hydromassage” alternately dilates and constricts blood vessels in your feet, boosting circulation.

2. Rub Out the Pain

In health-food stores, you can buy a roller specially designed to massage the soles of the feet. Or you can simply roll your bare foot over a tennis ball, golf ball, or rolling pin for several minutes. You can also massage them by hand with one of the following two homemade oils:

• 3 drops clove oil and 3 tablespoons (45 mL) sesame oil
• 3 drops lavender oil, 1 drop chamomile oil and 1 drop geranium oil mixed in 2 teaspoons (10 mL) olive oil

3. Rid the Ache

Scatter a few pencils on the floor, and pick them up with your toes. This little exercise helps relieve foot ache.

4. Stretch the Toes

Wrap a thick rubber band around all the toes on one foot. Spread your toes and hold the stretch for five seconds. Repeat 10 times to relieve shoe-bound feet.

5. Tend to the Tissue

Heel pain, especially in the morning, may signal plantar fasciitis, an inflammation of the tough band of tissue that connects your heel bone to the base of your toes. To get relief, stretch the Achilles tendon. Stand about one metre from a wall. Place your hands on the wall, and move your right leg forward, knee bent. Keep your left leg straight, with your heel on the floor. You should feel a gentle stretch in your heel and foot arch. Hold for 10 seconds, then switch sides and repeat.

6. Heal the Heel

Apply an ice pack to the sore heel for about 20 minutes three times a day.

7. Make a foot bath

Pamper your feet in an at-home spa bath. Fill a foot bath with hot water, add any of the following, and soak for 10 minutes.

• 2 drops peppermint oil, 4 drops of eucalyptus, 4 drops of rosemary oil
• a strong cup of peppermint tea
• 1 tablespoon (15 mL)arnica tincture

Next: 7 Foot Peel Masks, Available in Canada, for Softer Feet

This chocolate tart is fruity and decadent—and also raw and vegan, making it perfect for when you want to eat less dairy and refined sugar.

I love it for its versatility—you can easily substitute the fruit in the filling or the nuts in the tart shell for a completely different dessert. Plus, everything can easily be made ahead of time.

Dark Chocolate Raspberry Tart

Raspberry Jam Filling

Yields: 1 cup jam 

Ingredients

• 2 cups fresh or frozen raspberries
• 3 tbsp honey
• 3 tbsp chia seeds

Instructions

1. In a small pot, add raspberries and honey.
2. Bring mixture up to a boil, mashing the raspberries with a fork. Make sure the honey is dissolved. Turn the heat down and reduce for a few minutes.
3. Stir in chia seeds and leave mixture in the fridge to thicken overnight.

Hazelnut Tart Shell

Yields: 4 x 4″ tart shells

Ingredients

• 8 soft Medjool dates
• 1 cup whole skinned hazelnuts
• 1/2 cup unsweetened shredded coconut

Instructions

1. Process everything in a food processor until a pliable texture is achieved.
2. Press into the pans, making sure to apply an even pressure so the bottom and sides are the same thickness.
3. Place in the freezer to set.

Truffle Filling

Yield: 1 cup

Ingredients

• 5 soft Medjool dates
• 2 medium ripe bananas
• 1/4 cup raw cocao powder
• 2 tbsp melted coconut oil
• zest of one orange

Instructions

Soak dates in hot water for 10 minutes and drain.  Blitz everything in a food processor until smooth.

Assembling

Dollop a generous spoonful of the raspberry jam at the bottom of the shell. Top with the truffle filling and garnish with fresh or freeze-dried raspberries and chopped hazelnuts.

Wall of Bakers premieres on Monday, March 28th at 10 p.m. ET/PT.

Next: This Recipe for Lemon Posset Calls for Just 3 Ingredients

Over the past two years, mental health gyms, where memberships get you access to physical and mental health classes (think meditation, mindfulness, journaling, yoga, group talk therapy and individual sessions), have taken off in the United States and United Kingdom. In 2020, the Toronto-based clinical and health psychologist Dr. Kim Edwards launched one of Canada’s first iterations.

Edwards previously worked at McMaster Children’s Hospital, where she built a program to treat pediatric chronic pain. She was on maternity leave when COVID hit. Seeing the rapid decline in Canadians’ mental health—almost 20 percent of Canadians screened positive for generalized anxiety disorder and/or major depressive disorder, according to a spring 2021 survey conducted by the Public Health Agency of Canada—Edwards decided to launch a remote private practice: the mental health gym Mindfit. “Demand for therapists was, and still is, so high. But I was very much focused on my practice having a different feel and flavour.”

What is a mental health gym?

I don’t think there’s a single or widely accepted definition, but most are trying to rethink how mental health services are perceived and delivered. The entire process of seeking out psychological services is imbued with medical undertones—you’re a patient, you’re seeking treatment for a disorder from a clinician. Can you imagine if those terms were being used at your local gym? Of course not.

When I started my private practice, I wanted to do things differently. I wanted the concept of mental health support to be accessible, destigmatized and non-judgmental. I thought, what better way than to encourage people to think about mental health improvement the same way we think about our physical health improvement. So, at our practice we don’t have clinicians, we have coaches. We don’t have treatment plans, we have programs. We don’t have appointments, we have workouts. We don’t have patients, we have members. We embed that language into everything we do.

Right—so taking care of your mental health becomes as straightforward and reflexive as taking care of your physical health?

Exactly. We should be taking care of our mental health in the same way we’re taking care of, say, our dental health. It’s acceptable to miss a day of work because you’re feeling physically sick. Why is it not acceptable to miss a day of work because you’re not feeling mentally well? People should be able to say, “I’m feeling terribly stressed. And I just need to go for a walk and connect with some friends and do some mindfulness today.” But we are unfortunately far from that point.

It’s fair to say most people seek psychological help when they’re already in crisis. How do we make the shift to think of mental wellness as something that deserves consistent attention and tending?

So, in the past, the field of psychology was very much focused on how to get people from a minus-five to a zero—i.e., from a state of anxiety, depression and stress to a neutral, normal state. But now we also ask, how do we get people to go from zero to a plus-five, a state where we flourish? Like with physical health, that takes ongoing effort. Sleep, diet, exercise for sure, but also mental fitness workouts, which are evidence-based practices like mindfulness, relaxation, realistic thinking and connecting with others.

So, you could come to a mental health gym because you want to learn specific skills to continue to build resilience, and you want to learn strategies to cope with stress and face the challenges of the past couple years, which have been extremely difficult for all of us. You don’t have to wait until you’re at a minus-five to reach out for support.

And yet, many people pay attention only when their mental health is clearly deteriorating. Even then they don’t always get help.

Listen, we’ve got a long way to go to reduce the stigma around addressing mental health. Having more places that are designed to be both accessible and offer time-limited treatments might help.

Also, shifting our mindset. Most people prefer to take, say, vitamins rather than antibiotics to maintain health. There are strategies that I see as our [mental health] vitamins. Mindfulness and connecting with friends and doing yoga and movement and learning realistic thinking strategies and putting belly breathing in your life—these are not strategies that take a long time to do, but they’re very effective.

And honestly, who doesn’t want to be living in a plus-5 state?

That’s what positive psychology is all about. Dr. Martin Seligman launched a whole new way for us to explore which character strengths and virtues and values are universal. They transcend cultures, gender, socioeconomic status, and they allow people to thrive and live meaningful, resilient lives. Research shows that about 50 percent of the variance in your well-being is due to your genetics, and then there’s another 10 percent that’s due to your circumstances, like where you live, whether you’re married or single, your age, your gender, all that kind of stuff. But that leaves about 40 percent variability. And so, well-being can be influenced by our everyday practices, like sleep, diet, exercise, mindfulness, realistic thinking and connecting with our friends. Even gratitude practices. You don’t have to spend 10 hours a day focused on this stuff.

How are mental health gym workouts different from traditional therapy sessions?

We are essentially providing comprehensive psychological services, but we’re trying to do it in a destigmatized, accessible, compassionate and structured manner. They can be less time-intensive than traditional therapy sessions, and less costly. It’s where people are learning skills and applying them to everyday life. We want people to leave our programs with a toolbox of strategies for getting and staying in emotional shape. And we want them to use those strategies, to embed them in their daily lives so they can learn to manage future obstacles.

When treatment is unstructured, it can go on indefinitely, without clear goals or objectives. There’s definitely a place for long-term therapy for certain challenges and individuals. However, a lot of people would benefit from a short series of sessions to learn strategies and aim for results that are tangible and measurable.

Is it less daunting for people, too, if they know there’s a beginning and an end?

Absolutely. I do a lot of work with kids and teens. And one of the things they really appreciate from the first time we meet is knowing that there’s a structured plan and an end goal. They participate in about eight to 12 weekly sessions. And they leave with a binder of handouts, which becomes their toolbox of strategies and skills.

It’s clear we’re living through a mental health crisis. How can mental health gyms help?

Resilience doesn’t mean you never have stress or challenge in life. It means you’re someone who is able to bounce back from a difficult situation. What mental health gyms are trying to do is boost our psychological immune system and give people the tools to be resilient. And then, when the next bump comes along, we have some strategies and ways to realistically think about and engage with the situation.

Now that you know about mental health gyms in Canada, learn why one woman celebrates her birthday with therapy.

It’s hard to believe that it was two years ago that the World Health Organization declared COVID-19 a global pandemic. Within these two years, Canadians have been on a rollercoaster of rising and falling case counts. Many of us have been double, triple or in some cases, even quadruple vaccinated, and as we enter the spring, restrictions and mandates are lifting, signaling a potential return to normalcy.

Early on, experts pointed to the concept of the hammer and the dance. Basically, the thinking was a short period of intense restrictions (i.e. the hammer) could suppress the virus, allow us to open up more and buy us the time needed to develop a vaccine (i.e. the dance). Last year at this time, it felt like we succeeded. We locked down. An incredibly effective set of vaccines were developed. By summer, we got the chance to dance.

But this pandemic anniversary feels different than last year. At the one-year mark, I remember looking forward with a sense of hope as more and more Canadians were gaining access to the coveted vaccine. Of course, that isn’t exactly how things played out.

Instead, two intense variant-driven COVID waves and a waning of vaccine-mediated immunity set us back significantly, necessitating more lock downs.

On this second pandemic anniversary, the mood is palpably different. Unlike 2021, we have been here before. We know that returning to restaurants, social gatherings and a general sense of normalcy may be temporary. We’ve seen the ups and endured the downs, and that can make it hard to trust that as we enter the third year of the pandemic, things really might permanently get better—but there is reason to hope, even if that feels hard right now.

Why I still worry

Looking back, the statistical footprint of two years of COVID in Canada is staggering—3.34 million cases, more than 37,000 deaths and over 81.5 million doses of vaccines administered. Looking forward, new variants of concern, waning vaccine effectiveness and the prospect of living with some form of COVID for the foreseeable future makes it hard to let our collective guard down.

As an internal medicine physician in Toronto, I’ve spent a good part of the last two years on the frontline. COVID has impacted every clinical and administrative aspect of my job from wearing PPE for all patient encounters to moving care to virtual platforms to training the next generation of health professionals for future pandemics. I continue to be amazed by the sheer grit, work ethic and determination of my colleagues provide the best care possible—even when we went from being hailed as heroes to combating misinformation and fearing harassment from anti-vaccine protesters. But my worry now shifts to what’s to come because the full effects of COVID on our health care system and health care workers won’t be known until this crisis is behind us.

(Related: I Need You to Know: Vacation Doesn’t Solve Burnout) 

My colleagues are experiencing unprecedented burnout. It’s been a relentless two years, and I’m not surprised that nurses and physicians are ramping down their work and responsibilities and even leaving the profession in droves. This exodus could not be more ill-timed. There is a massive backlog of medical assessments, procedures and surgeries that have been deferred for two years. There is the urgent need to fix the broken systems the pandemic laid bare—like our long-term care homes, lack of mental health infrastructure and extensive care access issues for the people most at risk. And COVID has created new demands on the health care system, like patients with long COVID, that we’ve yet to fully figure out how to triage.

With the relaxing of mask mandates on the horizon and reopening plans firmly in place across multiple provinces for the spring, you would think this would be a time to be hopeful and optimistic for the future. But it doesn’t really feel this way, partly because there are so many unknowns. Will opening up drive case counts up? Will we need to reintroduce restrictions? Will there be some new summer variant that sets us back again? Will we need more vaccine doses? It’s hard to envision what the future looks when it’s not clear if and how the pandemic will end.

Where to find hope

To others that are feeling fatigued and numb at the prospect of another ‘abnormal’ year, I do strongly believe this year will be better than the last.

From a scientific perspective, we have a much larger and evolving body of COVID knowledge to guide us. There are multiple large Canadian-led studies, including the Canadian COVID-19 Prospective Cohort Study (CANCOV), that are helping us better understand the long-term effects of COVID and how to help patients experience lingering symptoms. We also have new treatments, like antiviral medication, that can hopefully mitigate some of the risks of COVID.

(Related: What You Need to Know About Long COVID, According to a Long COVID Researcher)

There is also much more public recognition of the evolving workforce crisis and burnout among nursing and personal support workers, forcing a political will to make meaningful system changes. For example, the Ontario government plans to invest $342 million over the next five years to add 13,000 nurses and personal support workers (PSW) to the province. While this is not a solution, it’s at least a start. I’m optimistic we can use the learnings from COVID to galvanize a coordinated effort to improve other large systemic issues like elder care, mental health access and systemic inequity.

Where I’m personally finding hope right now is in the small steps I will get to take toward normalcy as things open up, especially those activities I’ve either forgotten or taken for granted. I look forward to attending weddings. Planning a baby shower for the arrival of my second child. Seeing a movie. Going to a gym. Planning a vacation. I’m grateful that, unlike last year, we have all the tools available to us—like rapid testing kits, N-95 masks and booster vaccine doses—to make gatherings and activities as safe as possible. Rather than worry about the things I can’t do, I’m trying to find joy in the things we are able to do safely. Embracing our new, and ever-evolving reality.

So, on this second pandemic anniversary, maybe we should stop aspiring to go back to the way things were before. This pandemic might not have a distinct end. Instead, think of the pandemic as a major life event, like a birth or a death of a loved one. After those milestones, there is no going back to the way things were. The best we can do is to find joy and meaning in our new reality.

Next: Everything You Need to Know About COVID Antiviral Pills

Most people are reluctant to talk about their sex life, and that’s fair. Some things are sacred. But do you get the feeling that people are reluctant to talk because the event typically fails to live up to all the hype?

How much sex is normal?

When I confide to friends that I’m having sex less often than the much-quoted average of  “a couple of times a week,” my friends then typically admit the same. “Sex life? What sex life?” is a common refrain among my peers. Female friends often voice a wish that their husbands didn’t want sex so often, while male friends occasionally admit to daydreaming about sex with other women.

There’s nothing shocking about these divergent attitudes to sex; what is surprising, though, is that each gender tends to forget the other’s biological hard-wiring. In his book Mars and Venus in the Bedroom, John Gray describes the different ways in which men and women reach arousal. Men tend to respond to the sensual touch, taste, smell or visual cues. For women, arousal is usually a mental operation, requiring time to “switch off” from the day’s activities and then to “switch on” for pleasure. Quite often, it’s the delay between women’s and men’s responses that leads to sexual incompatibility.

(Related: You Know Your Love Language—How About Your Sex Language?)

Improving your sex life

The solution? Sexual therapists the world over say the fastest way to a good sex life is to communicate with your partner. Lots of long-term relationships see libidos bottom out during busy, stressful or child-rearing times. The secret to intimacy, say therapists, is to ensure that ‘not often’ does not lead to ‘never.’ But apart from that rule, almost anything goes.

Sex therapist Heide McConkey sometimes sees clients who believe they have a sexual problem when they really don’t. Men, she reports, often cite anxiety about their performance. “A lot of men complain they’re only maintaining their erection for three to five minutes,” she says. ”Congratulations,” I say. “You’re normal.”

McConkey says couples also complain that they feel enormous pressure to pep up their sex life. “I saw a couple recently who were clearly deeply in love. But, they admitted, after almost 20 years of marriage, they weren’t making love very often. They wanted to know what they should do.”  McConkey probed and both partners admitted they were content with the status quo. “If both parties are happy having sex three times a day, then that is a satisfactory agreement. Similarly, if a couple both feel okay about sex once a month, then it’s ample.”

McConkey, who has counselled many people over the years, feels there is still a lack of real education in our society about sex. “I get people in their 20s and 30s, asking what will happen to them if they masturbate. I tell them masturbation is not only normal, it’s healthy!”

What about shyness? Not everyone has the courage to tell a partner how to kiss or perform oral sex. Therapists suggest it’s best to talk about what you like and what you want more of, rather than emphasizing the negative. When you can relate honestly and openly to your partner, that’s when the juices flow.

Next: It’s Time for Some Self-Love—Here Are 6 Ways Masturbation Is Good for You