3 Things Women With Incredible Sex Lives Always Do
Relationship expert and sex educator, Dr. Laura Berman, shares what every woman needs to do to feel more confident in the bedroom.
1) She Takes Care of Her Hair
We’re obviously not suggesting you get a blowout every time you’re expecting to get some. But spending some extra time on your hair really does improve your confidence in the bedroom. A recent study found that one in three women would actually cancel a date if they were having a bad hair day.
Lacklustre locks should never get in the way of your love life. Dr. Laura Berman, a relationship therapist and sex educator, admits there is a biological inclination as to why women put such a priority on making sure they’re happy with their hair. She is a spokesperson for Viviscal New Gorgeous Growth Densifying Hair Care.
“As a society, what we consider to be beautiful traits, like shiny and thick hair, clear skin and bright eyes are all signs of reproductive health. They’re all initial cues of being healthy and vibrant,” says Berman.
It makes sense, after all, who doesn’t feel sexy when they’re having a good hair day?
What you can do: If you already have enviably thick hair – high fives. For the rest of us, use products that claim to help to add shine and to thicken hair.
2) She Tells Her Partner What She Likes
Berman insists that a lot of people have never had a real, close look at a woman’s genitals before. “I’m shocked at how few women know where their clitoris is,” she says.
If you haven’t done so already, Berman suggests grabbing a hand-held mirror and doing a vaginal self-exam. Then, touch yourself and see what feels good. She can’t stress enough how important it is to know every inch of your body. When you know more about yourself, you’re able to learn what turns you on. After, you’ll know exactly where and how to tell your partner to touch you in a way that feels good.
“It’s definitely an intimate moment,” she says. If you’re not comfortable with having your partner take a close-up look at your vagina, try guiding their hand with yours.
What you can do: Have fun showing your partner how they can pleasure you.
3) She Takes Control of Her Own Orgasm
It’s unfortunate, but it’s true. A lot of people, especially men, get their sex education from porn, says Berman. This means that they often get a distorted view on what actually turns a woman on. To make matters worse, a lot of women are guilty of not speaking up about what works and what doesn’t work for them in the bedroom.
“A lot of women do what I call the ‘mercy fake’ when she sees her partner working so hard to please her and so she thinks she’s doing him a solid,” says Berman.
Faking an orgasm does more harm in your relationship than good, suggests Berman. This is because your partner may not know how to read your cues on what actually turns you on.
“Women who’ve never had an orgasm tell me all the time ‘when I meet the right person, it will happen,’ ” Berman says. “ Of course, that’s not how it works.” Reaching orgasm is something every woman needs to figure out for herself, she says.
And since a lot of women can’t climax with penetration alone, sex toys are one of the easiest ways to do so, she adds.
What you can do: Shop around for some sex toys and don’t be afraid to try something new.