20 Things Every Woman Over 30 Should Know About Sex
Updated: Mar. 24, 2021
Sex really does get better with age.
You should always pee after sex
Peeing after sex is one of the easiest ways to prevent a urinary track infection (UTI), making it a good habit to develop. When you pee, your urine flushes away any bacteria than can get into your urethra. Doctors recommend emptying your bladder at least half an hour after the deed is done, so there’s no need to skip the post-sex cuddles.
Her birth control of preference
Whether it’s the pill, the patch or an IUD, women 30 and over know the best type of contraceptive that works for their body and their schedules. Likewise, if she’s 100 percent sure that parenthood isn’t for her, or she’s confident that she’s finished having kids, she knows it may be time to discuss more permanent birth control options with her medical provider.
Lube makes everything better
“Sex of all kinds is better when slippery. It reduces friction, is gentler on your skin, and can prevent condom breakage,” says sexual health and relationship expert, Robin Milhausen. “It’s critical, especially as you age.” On average, women go through menopause between the ages of 45 and 55 and the hormonal changes can result in vaginal dryness or atrophy – which then leads to pain during intercourse. Lube up before and during sexual activity and you’ll be surprised by how much your discomfort will be minimized.
That sex differs from couple to couple
It’s common for couples to wonder about whether or not their sex life is normal. Now’s the time to stop worrying about whether or not you and your partner are measuring up. Remember, the only thing that matters is that the two of you are happy with your sex life.
How to communicate your needs
Confidence comes with age and by the time you’re 30, you know how important it is to discuss your sexual needs and desires with your partner. How do you know if you can openly talk about your needs?
If you’re comfortable communicating with each other, even to the point of saying, ‘My needs aren’t being met this month, we need to pick it up,’ I think that’s a good sexual relationship,” says Jodi Sirota, a therapist at Calgary’s Hersh Centre for Sexual Wellness.
There’s always room for improvement
“Sexuality’s not the sort of thing where what worked for you when you were 14 is going to work when you’re 25 or 40,” says Sarah Forbes-Robert, a worker-owner at Toronto co-operative sex shop Come As You Are. “It’s a constant exploration of new ideas.”
But if you’re not putting effort in — and that goes for both of you— then you’re doing yourself and your relationship a disservice, says Forbes-Robert. “You don’t want to keep doing the same thing over and over again — it’s not good for anybody,” she says. “Trying new things – and using new muscle groups – are all very healthy for sexuality.”
Scheduling sex isn’t a bad thing
You have to make time for the important things in life, and this includes sex. Prioritizing love-making helps prevent dry spells and is the best stress-relief during weeks when your schedule may be a bit busier than usual, like the holiday season.
That men say no (and it’s not her fault)
When it comes to sex, men are ready to go at any time, right? Well, not always. If your partner is turning down your advances, you knows there’s probably a good explanation for his lack of interest—and it likely has nothing to do with how he feels about you. Factors such as stress, exhaustion or experiencing a drop in testosterone as a result of aging may be some of the reasons why he’s saying no to sex.
You can never have enough lingerie
There’s nothing like some sexy sleepwear that helps you feel more confident and in control of your sexuality. Sexy matching bras and panties just aren’t for Valentine’s Day, but are a great way to get in the mood all year around.
The importance of masturbation
She knows that masturbation is an important part of a healthy sexual life and makes time for some self-love. She knows that masturbating relieves stress, eliminates menstrual cramps and can even help her achieve orgasm during intercourse.
That sex toys are always fun
From vibrators to cannabis-infused stimulating oil, there are so many different types of sex toys on the market that women and their partners can play with. Whichever you choose, be sure to keep it by your bedside table to have whenever the mood strikes.
How to naturally boost your libido
We’ve all heard about the magical power of oysters, but it’s not something that’s on most of our weekly grocery lists. Eating more watermelons, beef, eggs, saffron or eating the Mediterranean diet are all proven ways that you can boost your libido.
That it’s not only about penetration
Penetrative sex isn’t the only way to get busy or achieve orgasm. In a recent study conducted by Trojan, touching a partner’s genitals and being touched ‘down there’ by a partner, were rated among the most pleasurable sexual activities.
The importance of being open with your doctor
It may still feel a bit uncomfortable, but you know that honesty is the best policy when it comes to disclosing your sexual health with your physician. Not sure what to talk about? These are the 8 secrets that you should disclose with your gynecologist.
How to confidently have the STI Conversation
Sexually transmitted infections aren’t just a concern for college kids. In fact, according to the Public Health Agency of Canada, STI rates are on the rise among people in their 40s and 50s. Some of the most common STIs are chlamydia and gonorrhea – both are treatable with antibiotics but have unpleasant symptoms and are easily transmitted from one person to another.
That you should embrace your sexual fantasies
Sexual fantasies are a good thing! Fantasizing can enhance sexual arousal and orgasm whether you are alone or with your partner. And it doesn’t mean you are unhappy with your actual sex life, it’s simply another healthy aspect of the spectrum of sexual pleasure.
How to relax during oral sex
Many sexually well-adjusted women report feeling anxiety and shame when receiving oral sex. No matter what age you are, it’s important to remember that every part of you, including your vulva and labia, are beautiful. And there’s no reason why these erogenous zones shouldn’t get some love, too.
The magic of tantric sex
Tantric sex is one of the best-kept secrets to unbelievable sex with the one you love. Couples who practice tantric sex cultivate great sensual pleasure and also a sense of ‘dissolving into each other’ that is profound and loving. Plus, tantric-sex is a great gateway to prolonged orgasms that can last from minutes to even hours.
Running dates are good for your sex life
Sixty-six percent of people believe that they have more sex when they run with their significant other, according to the 2013 Brooks Run Happy Nation Report.
The report also found that the longer you run, the better your sex life. Nearly half of couples who run six miles or more together reported greater satisfaction in the bedroom.
The beauty of morning sex
Life gets hectic and sometimes, sex is the last thing anyone wants to do at the end of the long day. This is why you know that a cup of coffee isn’t the best way to start your day, it’s morning sex. Setting your alarm half an hour earlier for some morning lovemaking will always help you wake up on the right side of the bed.
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